Thinking about water, and the ebb and flow of the tide. Thinking about renewal. A new season approaching. Once again, it’s been entirely too long since I’ve posted on this blog. I have a 26 month child now. As usual, work and home are not balanced enough, but I’m trying mightily. I realize now that it will always elude me because I will never be able to be home enough to assuage the mama guilt. It will always be hovering in the dark place that I usually don’t speak of, but I should. I should share more, open myself up more to friends and family. When I do that, I am reminded that I’m not alone in that dark place. It is shared by all the mothers and sisters and daughters who never feel that they do enough, or care enough, or work enough, or ARE ENOUGH.
It is such a common feeling among women. We always try to be more to everyone around us. Sometimes, when we are trying too hard, a manifestation of stress and fatigue bears down in a physical way. Lately for me it has been god-awful headaches. So my new commitment to myself is to try to be more to ME. More centered, more attuned to my needs, more calm, more creative. More ME. To begin is enough.
So today I took myself down to the Horseshoe Summer Craft and Flea Market. Thank you Denver handmade purveyors for inspiration and whimsy. A morning at the market and picnic lunch in the park with my lovely boy. Now THAT’s more me.
